Laura-Jane Adventures

When I think about what I want to put out online for everyone to see, I think about being honest. Recently I have thought a lot about how people only portray their ‘best bits’, (myself included) and not many people show the hard times, the bad decisions and the mistakes. It takes a lot of confidence and optimism in yourself to do that, so I get it, I understand.

We are all horribly great at scrolling and comparing ourselves to edited Instagram accounts and looking at what the people in our lives are doing, the ones we care about and love; we think they are having so much more fun than me or they are accomplishing so much more than I am, etc. Then what we all fail to realise is that whoever you are looking at on your phone, tablet or computer screen is not that ‘happy’ or ‘perfect’ all the time. Getting out of this mindset is super tough; social media allows people to play ‘a character’ and deceive people, often ‘a character’ who is so far from who they truly are. In my opinion it is terrifying and something I have been thinking about a lot lately. So I wanted to talk about being away from my family, friends, the ones who help me through hard times, and admit that I have been struggling a lot over the past four weeks.

When I started my exchange I knew there would be times where I would feel homesick and the only thing to make me feel better would be a hug from my mum. Although until four weeks ago I can honestly say I hadn’t felt homesick. Of course there had been times where I cried and thought it was all unfair, I wanted to be treated like an adult and I wanted the same freedoms I have in Scotland. However, I am strong and pushed myself to deal with it independently. I also knew that this was helping me grow and learn – it would be beneficial in the long run.  Then four weeks ago everything kind of shifted. I went from a comfortable, happy place that had consumed me for months to feeling like my world was crashing down around me. I had began to prepare myself for the Christmas period and knowing my family were missing me, knowing I was going to miss them, when the thing I was relying on to help me through it all fell apart in front of my eyes. I was devastated, I still am. This was when the home sickness hit me like a ton of concrete bricks.

So how do I or you deal with it? Everyone deals with things differently but here is my advice and what works for me;

A piece of advice that I can give is you need to find a focus for yourself when you feel this way. Perhaps that can be something you already enjoy, a hobby you’ve neglected or something completely new. One of my ‘focuses’ is running and exercise. Running, not for everyone, but for me is a fantastic way to clear my head and shed a part of the stress I feel. In fact any type of exercise gives me a sort of release. A second thing I do is read or create art, admittedly I am drawn to sad, self-help literature and art but it helps to get deep into my feelings and try to become comfortable with embracing them.

A second way to help yourself is talking to someone about how you feel. This is so important! Honestly, it does not help to keep everything bottled up. Over the break I talked openly about being homesick with my host families. Confining in people who are around you and care relieves the burden immensely. I will confess that I do not tell people everything, especially being here. Who you trust is something all exchange students should be careful about, although that’s a topic for another day. However, find someone who will listen and that you think will be empathetic towards the way you feel.

The third tip is remembering why you decided to have this incredible experience. In the moment it is difficult and you feel as though going home is the only solution to the problem. That is not the answer. Pushing yourself through the pain, dealing with your emotions and trusting your own strength, will get you through anything. I am in America because I wanted to connect with the culture and push myself out of my comfort zone. This is what I am doing – I am discovering more about myself everyday and revelling in a cultural adventure.

Overall, there are going to be bad days, maybe a lot of them, even so, it is worth it to get an opportunity that in the grand scheme of things, not many people get. Remember to enjoy the Christmas and New Year period, and not let the homesickness consume you. Have faith that you will be a better person for dealing with everything and never giving up.

Lots of love,

Laura Jane x

P.S – A mention to my host sister Emmie for her amazing artwork featured in the pictures.